What’s a blog for, if not to brag? Well, a lot of little people have helped along the way and Big Daddy Cordes want to thank to all of them, but most importantly I am famous: type “mullet stripes” into Google images and see what you get. Very first image. Numero Uno. Little did I know that searching for ideas would lead to such sudden, complete fulfillment. God bless the interwebs. Here’s a screen shot:

We just re-did my stripes this morning, and the mullet is coming in nicely. Since my recently fucked-up shoulder (which is actually doing well, at least it feels good, though I’ll know more when I get the MRI results back) has me almost assuredly delaying my trip to Patagonia, the silver lining might be that I can better grow-in the mullet (to say nothing of the creepy mustache). It’s a sign of cultural respect, that’s all: every dude in Argentina rocks the mullet.

I was to leave for Patagonia in a week, and was going to climb with Tommy, as I’m quite certain I can jug anything he can lead. Man, the guy is inspiring, and I just wrote about his and Kevin Jorgeson’s current project here. For those who don’t know, they’re trying to free-climb a line up El Cap’s Dawn Wall — crazy steep and blank, stacked with 5.13 & 5.14 pitches, about seven of each in the line’s 30 pitches. They’ve been working on it for three seasons, trained their asses off, and Tommy told me he’s sure that it goes — just not sure if they can do it yet. But they’re trying, which is way more impressive than coming up first on the interwebs for having a shitty haircut.

Yeah, in the words of Kenny Powers, fuck this noise — it’s time to go train.

16 thoughts on “Braggadocio

  1. Kelly I just wanted to say thanks. If you can sport mullet stripes and a nasty stash, then I can sport the stash and inspire to grow the mullet

    • Whoa, Dune! No match indeed. That is one sweet jeri-curl mullet. Damn. (Though I won’t ask what in the hell you’re doin’ listening to music like that, ha! — to each his own, and Melvin’s just doin’ his thing; not everyone can be Lemmy from Motorhead.)

  2. Nothing to do with the mullet, but when I heard this joke I immediately thought about you.

    “What did the clown say to the little girl”?
    “I don’t know what your worried about, I have to walk out of these woods alone”

    Wrong on so many levels. A good frozen belay time passer eh?

    • Oh shit Fred! Ha! You horrible, horrible person you! Yes, wrong on so many levels. But I can’t honestly give you any shit, because I’ve been so tastelessly out of line far too many times. Like the Halloween clowsuit “joke,” which is so bad I still can’t believe I didn’t get my ass kicked (I probably deserved it). Wrote about that one here:

  3. Yo, Kelly!
    It’s been almost a month and no word! Just givin’ you a shout out from the northern AK! Hope you’re good, man- looking forward to your next post.
    Peace out

    • Yo K-dog (why not K-dawg? Well, aside from you living in AK — down here in the ‘Rado, brah, I think I go by K-dawg…ha!), thanks for the note. I know, been thinking the same myself. Had pretty major shoulder surgery a week ago, and wanted to post something leading up to that, but only managed to do it on the Patagonia blog, where I write most often now. Don’t know where the time goes, and writing takes me a lot of time (hard to believe, I know!). Sucks being laid-up again, was supposed to be in Patagonia right now, and I’d been so psyched to be climbing again after my leg recover, etc, but this had to be done. Arg. Anyway, as to reading my posts at The Cleanest Line, here’s no commercial bullshit on there (totally understand how it could be like, “arg, dude, i don’t want to go to some company blog crap), they let me write exactly how I want to write, so it’s almost the same as everything I’d post here minus a few of the low-rent rants and f-bombs (though in my last post they let one slide — fuckin’ A!). Here’s the links if ya want to check out the one leading up to surgery and one posted the day of surgery (which is the second one — has a purty picture show embedded in there, similar to one I posted here last spring):

      But anyway, I’ll try to get more up here soon. Soon as the painkillers wear off and I can think straight again. Man, been so loopy I haven’t even had the slightest desire for a margarita since before surgery, if that tells you anything.
      Take care and keep warm up there,
      Kelly (er, K-Dawg)

  4. Kelly,
    A good friend just pointed me to your blog… I’m speechless. I’m dealing with a back injury right now that’s preventing me from training hard and playing outside. Your posts always make me laugh and give me perspective.

    I’m grateful you share your stream of consciousness with the rest of us! Especially, your stripped mullet and dirty stash.

    • Hey Leigh Ann, thanks so much for the note, and very best wishes with your back injury. Such a drag, of course I know what it’s like and it sucks. I suppose it’s important to find good — or at least something useful — out of rough times, or else it’s just wasted time, and we don’t have enough time for that, I don’t think. So, hopefully you’ll learn some things, like about how to try to keep your back strong and flexible and healthy in the future — when I wrecked my back, I had to make some big changes (back exercises and maintenance becoming almost like a part-time job to keep me going now), but, as with each of my major injuries, somehow I came back stronger. Weird how that works out — something about balance, maybe, and also appreciation for what can be lost and thus a desire to make things count. I dunno. Anyway, hope you’re doing great, and heal-up!

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